Anxiety be it generalised, social, mild, severe no matter what degree it is its horrible. And to make it worse it does not go away.
Does it get easier to handle? Yes,
does that make is any less shitty? No.
Its hard to put into words whats its like to be 24 years of age and wake up every single day in fear of things most wouldn’t even think twice about! Fear of social interaction, who you will be in contact with today, what if you say something stupid, what if your face goes red yet again. fear of judgement, fear of getting out of bed to face another day of anxiety, fear of something that isn’t going to happen for about 3 weeks.
It effects you physically, psychologically and emotionally. Hot/cold flushes, irrational thoughts, shakiness, weakness, nausea, vomitting, exhaustion, a loss of Continue reading
My dearest boyfriend/girlfriend,
Thanks for taking the time to read this today. I’m sorry if it interrupted your schedule. See, part of my mental illness is to make me feel guilty and ashamed for things (I’m told) I shouldn’t. After the guilt and shame set in, anxiety creeps up. Some people get anxiety and stress confused. Anxiety isn’t stress. You can redirect stress and calm yourself relatively quick. Anxiety isn’t so easy. Let me explain.
I get tense. First in my chest, shoulders and neck. Then, it flows into my arms, hands and stomach. Next, I clench and grind my teeth without noticing. After a while, my jaw hurts so badly that Continue reading
My anxiety has led me to develop a bad habit. It doesn’t seem like it would be a bad habit, but for me it is.
I apologize too much.
I know, I know, you’re thinking maybe I’m just polite and considerate. Are you? That’s what I thought as it started. I thought since apologizing can be really difficult for some people, and many apologize without truly meaning it, it was something I should be thankful I can do.
When I was little, and even now, if I am sick or hurting I constantly apologize to my caregivers. I would have strep throat and a fever and would constantly apologize to my mom and dad for fixing me special foods and drinks, like soup and hot tea, to help me heal. I was terribly sick a few Continue reading